To all my felty followers, I thought I would let you know why I haven’t been posting lately.
About three weeks ago I left a long-term job of 10.5 years with the same owners to begin a new job at Kunara, the natural health food place in Forest Glen, Queensland. That was the first part of what I’m seeing as a massive transition.
Following that, I sold my old car (of about 16 years) and got a good second-hand 6-year-old car.
Our beautiful 9.5 year old dog suddenly showed signs of a chronic illness and went down hill very quickly, so on Monday, we gathered in front of our small rainforest garden and to prevent her suffering any longer, we put our Sandie dog to sleep.
That was a challenge and I was coming to terms with losing her and not hearing the thumpa-thump of her tail on the carpet, or having her “clean up!” in the kitchen when I dropped food. The many little things that you take for granted are the things you miss when someone (or some animal) has gone. No belly to tickle when I’m lying on the couch with my arm dangling towards the carpet.
So, I have been enjoying the challenge of my new job and that has kept me busy and mentally occupied. The atmosphere is fast and friendly, and the people are very encouraging. It is great learning new recipes and systems to follow.
On Saturday, driving to work at 5.45am, a large black bird (maybe a crow, or a raven, I’m not sure) flew in front of my car from the left, and hovered in the air in front of me, keeping distance with me as I travelled down the road. I wondered at the time what it was doing, then it flew off and I thought no more about it. I didn’t know then that it was Nature’s messenger.
Early on Saturday evening, the phone rang and my son answered, saying “yes, she’s here I’ll get her”. Then he stopped to listen to the caller and as I saw his face become serious, I knew what had happened.
I love my mum
My sister was ringing me from the UK to let me know that my lovely mum, aged 93, had passed away on the Friday.
I am sad, but also relieved that her passing was sudden and she had no time lingering in an aged care facility, but had passed away at home, which is where my sister had found her when she’d gone round to find out why mum hadn’t answered the phone that morning.
Mum was an incredible woman; strong, resilient, caring, and with a great sense of humour. I am so glad I went to the UK in May this year and spent some good, quality time with her, laughing and reminiscing.
My heart and thoughts now go out to my sister, who is in the UK and who has been mum’s daily support for years. Her life is now filled with extreme loss and readjustment. She is the one who will have to go through mum’s things, be there at the funeral and make the daily ongoing adjustments of missing someone whose life was so entwined with her own.
My own struggle is reconciling the frustration of not having enough money to make another trip to the UK so soon after the last one (which is always so much more than just the plane ticket – other travel and living expenses have to be added), having other recent commitments that would be seriously compromised if I stopped my casual work for even a week or two – not to mention it being a new job.
I can live with any friends or relatives over there who may think I’m being a heartless daughter/sister for not going. I now have to live with the decision to not go but to find other ways to support my sister from here. Two phone calls daily are a start. I am encouraging her to get better acquainted with Skype, but at nearly 70 and never being technically minded that is a huge ask especially now she is struggling with losing mum.
My thought is that later on, when the funeral is over, perhaps we will be able to bring my sister out here and she can stay in the sunshine, with her Sis and my family, and work out strategies for when she returns.
But right now, I’m there for her on the phone day by day.
And life goes on
I have a hat order for Christmas. I’ve put it off the last couple of weeks as I haven’t felt creative because of the changes I’ve been incorporating. Today though, I have to make it as it is the only free time I have. In a way though, I am glad to have something to keep me occupied.
So regardless of my emotions right now, I will have more pictures to post shortly.