… is all that matters here!

My personal transformation e-book that I mentioned in a previous blog post is coming along, although it’s like giving birth to an elephant.

After hitting the inevitable stumbling block or writer’s block where I have stopped in all previous attempts over the last few years (gawd, that’s a motivator), I’ve gritted my teeth and struggled along determined to continue.  I wallowed a lot in the introduction, getting caught up in confusion with how to present my story, the reason I’m writing this, the specific content and how much of the Bilderberg information I should share, not wanting to put anyone off before they even begin.

Then I read a synchronistic blog from Leonie Dawson, author of many helpful books and e-courses, some of which I’ve bought and find great – such as the amazingly helpful Business Goddess E-Course.  Leonie’s an Aussie woman … goddess… who’s a great teacher for me, especially in terms of seeing how she’s writing what she’s writing and how she manages to turn each blog into a sales pitch that is wrapped up in love, enthusiasm and inspiration.

I have to admit that envy sometimes rears its ugly head when I see her posts, as an old voice in my head sneers “What’s the point, it’s all been done before and better and more colourfully!”. But even though I weep inside at the difficulty of bringing the colour out of me – out of the darkness – this spurs me on because I know envy is showing me that somewhere within I don’t believe I can achieve this level of influence myself.  That belief is BS I know, but it is a deeply held belief with grungy gapped feelings attached, so work through it I will.

Actually, how I work through this kind of soul-sucking woundedness to get back to enthusiastic creativity is one of the topics in my own book.

Despite my shadow side feelings for this talented lady, I also truly love her genuine energy and am massively inspired by her ability to express who she is in such a way that she touches thousands.

I also went over a few of my past articles on my blog the latest of which I wrote yesterday, and actually like how I write.  So I’m coming to terms with the fact that while my book isn’t going to be written in a formal presentation, it will be written in such a way that appeals to readers who are similar to me and who will resonate with what I’m saying and appreciate how I’m saying it.

What I have learned from Leonie D is that her strength is in her authenticity.  So I don’t have to be like LD to be successful, and the world doesn’t need another LD or even a copycat LD.  The world needs me to be me.  And it needs you to be you.

This book then is pulling me out of me.  It is forcing me to find authentic expression in the written word.

Ocean of TranquillityI’ve already managed to successfully create popular guided relaxation CDs, and even got a couple of positive comments on the home video I made on Sunday of the open studio (much to my surprise.)   I am also able to translate an idea into a painting or a felt work as you can see from some of my posts here – and even am confident enough with that to stretch my boundaries each time I create a piece of art.

So, remembering I have a beautiful, from trust to lovefluffy, mushy, “fill your heart with love and your loins with lust” style contemporary romance (well, two), under my belt and quite a few blog posts I am happy with which are written in a more up beat and sometimes tongue in cheek way, I am digging deeper to discover my e-workbook voice.

What I have also learned from watching LD’s sales video is that she talks to her viewers in the same way she writes, to each one personally, as someone she adores and genuinely wants to assist. That makes it very attractive, I think because it is authentic to her and also because she addresses the ‘needy’/’wounded’/’suffering’/’aspiring’ goddess within me/other women.

So my book is causing me to research.  Not so much on the technical side, but definitely on the way it is written and how it is going to be presented.

My friend and mentor Ari’s (Aristomenes Christos Papageorgopoulos) latest facebook article also continued my momentum after reading it this morning.

Quote from Ari’s article “A Few Words on Discomfort, Passion and Creating our Reality”

“Solutions will not come from our comfort zones. That is my experience and sense of it. The treasure seeds that we can plant into our personal sense of manifesting our destiny potential come from our discomfort zones. It is their blossoming into consciousness as a sense of inspired understanding that often comes in our clearer moments. …

“I find one thing most important to remember regarding this. It is that most passion is found where the matrix tells us we should not go. So I say if you want to be something, be a revolutionary, for revolution is how the real world turns. Be a revolutionary, and make the world turn. Make it do so on your own terms of unadulterated authenticity voiced through your passion.”

So while my e-book feels like I’m giving birth to an elephant,  I’m going to keep writing!  I’m going to find and use my own authentic voice.  I’m going to make my world turn.  And when it’s ready, I’ll publish it for the whole world to read, so anyone who resonates can make their world turn too!

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