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Conflicted but creative

I’ve had quite a time this weekend.   On the one hand, after seeing my business mentor I feel very conflicted, but on the other hand I’m feeling fulfilled at being creatively productive.

Here’s my dilemma

I’m in my fifties and I know that in order to have a better quality of life further on down the track and looking towards retirement age, I need to put into place some sensible strategies now in order to create more passive income later.  I like the internet and social media (can’t you tell from reading this blog?) and so am looking at using my website to sell more of my creations as well as e-books and e-courses.

In my past, I’ve produced guided relaxation cds and these sell well in a couple of reputable businesses in the city and have done for years, and I also have sound bytes on my current (old) website so people can listen to them and decide via the internet instead of going physically shopping.

Also in my past – although to be honest it seems more like a past life – I’ve run workshops (creative expression, relaxation, meditation) and love working with people and seeing a transformation through the process.

So long-term, creating internet-friendly books and courses to assist people to do this and also free themselves to be more creative, is a concept that sits well with me.

Trouble is, my conflict comes because I’m a bit of a short-term pleasure girl.

I also have a good excuse to continue this tendency:  I have markets coming up and I want to create more silk and felt jewellery, scarves and accessories to sell.  Not only for the money.  I just love making things.  But, I can’t do two things at once given my time constraints and fluffy personality that’s not as organised as I could be if I’m really honest with myself.  (I could do with one of those chaise long psychiatrist couches at this point).

If I don’t get these e-books etc completed I can’t put them on my website for sale and I haven’t advanced any further towards my long-term goals.

Do you ever find yourself conflicted with “should do” vs “creativity now”?

Anyway, this whole dilemma has left me feeling a tad irritated.

So, have I been working on completing my other e-things this fine dry Australian autumn weekend?

No.  And anyone who knows me would add: “of course not”.

This is what I’ve been doing since my meeting with my truly lovely and genuine mentor at the end of last week.  I got out my half-finished book –

and before we go any further, I know I can finish a book because I have a completed contemporary romance on Amazon Kindle and those people who have read it from there and my hard copy at home have said it’s a page turner! (For anyone interested, it’s here).

– and I sat down with my e-book paperwork folder, shuffled the paper around, wrote some ideas up on my whiteboard and loaded Kingston Office App on my phone. It’s a free app that I discovered that will enable me to use my smart phone as a word processor.

See, I’m a bit stubborn when I have to decide doing what I want and doing what I should.  Always have been.  But that’s a whole topic for another day lol.

The solution to my dilemma

The long and the short of it is that after a brief sojourn into my e-book, I have come to a solution of sorts.  What I’ve decided to do is spend the next couple of weeks making felt toward the Mother’s Day markets and when I get on the plane to the UK in the middle of May for a three week trip, I’ll use my flying time wisely and complete my e-book using my new Kingston Office App (which will save me from taking my laptop and which I’ve also linked to Dropbox which is also a free program that means I can transfer my files from my phone to my home pc).

Please Gawd help there not to be any good in-flight movies showing…

This weekend’s creativity

I’m happy after doing what I really wanted to do: hand-dying, sewing, cutting, beading, stringing and completing a couple of new accessories.  I’ve made more jewellery and dyed wool and silk and a lovely open weave scarf a friend brought me back from Thailand, and also tried my hand at covering a Galaxy phone case with a beautiful piece of blue/green felt.

I managed to spill a bowl of raspberry dye all over the kitchen counter top, but after a few expletives and a lot of  bleach (sorry environment), the kitchen actually looks a lot cleaner than it did before.

So yeah, I even got some housework done!

I won’t bore you any more with details, but will leave you with a gallery of various pics of this weekend’s handiwork.

Links to some of my products mentioned in this blog

If you are interested, here are some links to a couple of my products that I have mentioned in the above post

Guided relaxation cds

Amazon Kindle contemporary romance – From  Trust to Love

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Comments on: "Conflicted but creative" (19)

  1. I was going to suggest similar, create your textile MUSTS and plan ahead some periods of time in the future where you work on your books. That way you know it’s coming, you’re not missing out on the other creative stuff, you’re organized, and have time to get into a mindset of also loving to write. Is it better to work on crafts in summer or winter? Or does writing one day a week work better? If you know you’re allowed to make jewellery tomorrow it might not be so bad.

    • Oh Pia, that’s such a good idea, thank you! I don’t think I could leave my crafting for another season, I’d get stir crazy lol. But perhaps writing one day a week as well (not just on the plane) would keep the writing project moving along. I’ll put that in my diary now. 🙂

      • Oh gosh no, I didn’t suggest you don’t craft all summer or winter. That would drive me up the wall too. But perhaps there’s a season where you are especially busy making things for the market, and that is NOT when to also plan to write. Put the writing AWAY in good conscience at those times, I find it makes me feel creatively fulfilled faster, because I don’t have the other clutter in my head. And then it’s easier for me to accept doing chores when my creativity is on downtime.

      • I understand. 🙂 It is a bit more difficult to make felt in summer here, because the humidity can mean that the wool rovings stick to my skin when I’m laying it out. But that’s not stopped me creating in summer though! I do find I have more of a desire to felt coming into winter, and it is autumn now, so perhaps that’s why I’m full steam ahead with my felting at the moment.

        Your suggestions to add a planned time for writing does sit very well with me though, because on that day I’d just write, knowing I could be knowing I could be crafty at other times. And it would also mean that I wouldn’t have the writing on my mind nagging at me when I was making felt because if I have it diarised, I’ll know that it will get done anyway.

        Pia, I appreciate your comments very much. 🙂

  2. zedster66 said:

    I’ve been conflicted for weeks over what I should do and what I want to do. I recently got the chance to try limited self employment on a government scheme (UK) and I was able to publish an e-book. I hoped to make a start on writing another, but after good initial sales, it really dropped off. I want to make the most of this opportunity so after years of people telling me I should sell my stuff, I opened an etsy store, and put off the writing work while I measured and cut and stitched together lots of things to sell, and they’re all still sat there in a box.
    I feel like I’ve wasted precious time, but at the same time I did enjoy it. It’s hard to know what to do because I have limited opportunities, no galleries or craft stores here to sell on consignment or commission, no craft fairs etc. And I have limited space/time to felt.

    I agree about felting being a winter sport, it’s incredibly humid here and impossible to felt in Summer. I like to felt as much as possible when it’s cooler and use the Summer for stitching/other felt activities.

    • Hi Zed,

      Thanks for commenting. I hear you when you say how sales have dropped off.

      I personally wouldn’t say you’ve wasted precious time, but you’ve created something that will be there for others who are following in your steps on their own felting paths. I’m happy to put a link to your book here if it will help (although I’ve not read it but the promotion looks interesting – and the felt you’ve made is lovely). For anyone interested, Zed’s book is at

      Have you thought about uploading it to amazon.com as an e-book? I’ve got a romance novel up there and have sold a few copies.

      I think the main thing is that marketing has to be constant. HOWEVER … 😉 …

      For myself, being creative and finding my passion taking me to new projects can hinder this. However, I also work with energy and I’m a great believer that people are more likely to buy from a person if their energy resonates “I’m happy and fulfilled” rather than if they’re resonating “I’m fed up with this”!

      That’s one of the reasons I chose to do what I wanted the other day, rather than what I thought I ‘should’ be doing. Because it would keep my inner energy more solid and more attractive (for want of a better description). But at the end of the day, I want to be happy now rather than wait for some later date when I’ve made X amount of dollars or whatever. So the other reason I made the decision was being happy in the Now moment.

      Perhaps if you focus on doing what you love right now (at least to the extent that you’re able), and blog daily about what you are having fun with (a) you’ll feel happier and less of the opinion that you’ve wasted your time and (b) you’ll attract interest from people who maybe haven’t discovered you or your felting before.

      If I’ve overstepped a boundary by making those suggestions – I don’t know you after all – please forgive me. 🙂

  3. zedster66 said:

    Oh, I didn’t mean the book was a waste of time. No, I know that has been really appreciated, I have had really nice feedback and I enjoyed doing it.
    It’s just that there is a lot riding on me making the most of this opportunity to try self employment. It is my one chance to try, and if this fails, I’ll be back on the lowest rate of disability benefits. It seems time is always against me, feeling well enough for the projects on my list and then dealing with health problems they cause is the major obstacle. I know I need to do more promotion and marketing, but I honestly don’t have the time or ability.
    I think you’re right about enjoying it, if I wasn’t enjoying it, it really wouldn’t be worth doing at all 🙂 It really is just hard to know what to do for the best with limited time.
    I did consider Amazon, but the e-book isn’t really suitable for e-readers, the big part of the book is photos, large photos for zooming into to see detail.
    And no, you didn’t overstep a boundary at all, your advice and suggestions are all good 🙂

  4. Hi there, I too used to be a hands on stress management consultant, sharing my working time between training for groups and classes, hypnotherapy, massage, reflexology etc. for individuals.
    Today I am into art! I sell when I can so that I can replenish my materials – good way to ensure that that I do sell at fairs etc.
    Good luck with your dilemma.

    • Art’s great isn’t it. 😀

      Thank you for your comments – I am finding that the more I just do what feels right, the more I am enjoying life, and encouragingly, the more interest my art work is getting.

      I’ve met a few others who are transitioning from stress management, meditation, healing and teaching into more creative and applied crafts. When I look at the ‘big picture’ of what I’d term ‘evolutionary flow’, I wonder if what is happening is that we are being challenged to physically apply what we have been teaching. I’ve also noticed that a lot of us are moving more consciously creating after physical health issues.

      Just some out of the box ideas that I thought I’d share. 😉

      • Your comments remind me of Dr Clare Graves, have you heard of him?

      • No I haven’t heard of him, but I’m going to do a google search now – thanks! … and some time later, after reading http://www.throughyourbody.com/dr-clare-graves-spiral-dynamics-human-evolution/ I want to say thank you for bringing Dr Graves to my attention.

        The Stages of Development mentioned in this article are very aligned with my own thinking, although in more details and after more research. My own conclusions are based on a vision I had when I was a child, meditation, personal struggles and outcomes, work with a mentor and reading of various theories over the years. I am also more self-centred with an overview of humanity, whereas Dr Grave seems to have a much greater grasp of society and individuals (and btw, I’m in no way truly comparing myself with Dr Grave lol).

        I’m now inspired to write down the vision I just mentioned, which I’ll link to from here once I’ve uploaded it. … Here’s the link to My vision of evolution when I was 8 years old” – http://wp.me/p3kfWr-5z

        What are your thoughts about this point of view?

      • You should follow your dreams

      • Yeah, thank you. When I have, it’s worked well for me. But they’re long stories for another day lol. 🙂 Good talking with you.

  5. […] personal transformation e-book that I mentioned in a previous blog post is coming along, although it’s like giving birth to an […]

  6. Hello! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be ok. I’m absolutely enjoying
    your blog and look forward to new posts.

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